The Art of Fighting Well

How to Navigate Conflict in a Way That Deepens Trust and Connection

Understanding your patterns doesn’t always help when you’re activated.

Maybe you’ve read the books, listened to the podcasts, gone to therapy, learned about active listening or “I” statements, or promised yourself that next time you’ll communicate differently.

And maybe some of it has helped.

You understand your patterns better. You know you’re supposed to listen, stay curious, speak from your own experience, and try not to become defensive.

But then conflict actually happens.

Someone says that thing. You feel misunderstood, dismissed, criticized, or hurt.

Suddenly, all that knowledge can become remarkably difficult to access.

You defend yourself. Shut down. Try to make the other person understand. Give in to make the conflict stop. Or avoid the conversation altogether.

Because knowing what to do when you’re calm is very different from being able to do it when you’re activated.

Conflict doesn’t happen only in our minds.

It happens in our bodies.

Our nervous systems respond. Our protective strategies take over. And the communication tools we understand intellectually may suddenly feel unavailable when we need them most.

Repair is a skill. And it can be practiced.

That’s why this workshop isn’t simply about giving you more information about how you should communicate.

It’s about practicing what repair actually feels like so you have something embodied to draw on when conflict is happening in real life.

The Art of Fighting Well is an intimate, experiential two-hour online workshop with relationship and intimacy coaches Lara Lark and Odelia Shargian. 

Together, we’ll explore how to:

• recognize your protective responses when conflict activates you

• stay connected to yourself when you’re hurt, angry, or overwhelmed

• communicate what’s happening underneath the conflict

• better understand the impact you’ve had on another person

• move through rupture without getting stuck in blame or right/wrong

• create the conditions for genuine repair and reconnection

Repair isn’t about deciding who was right.

It’s about slowing down enough to understand:

What happened?
What was impacted?
What is needed now?
What might help restore connection?

Sometimes conflict doesn’t have to be the thing that pushes us apart.

The way we repair can actually deepen the relationship.

 This work is for any relationship that matters to you.

This workshop isn’t only for couples.

Conflict and rupture happen anywhere people matter to one another: in romantic relationships, friendships, families, work relationships, creative collaborations, and communities.

You might come with a partner in mind. Or you might be thinking about a parent, friend, sibling, colleague, collaborator, or another important person in your life.

You’re welcome to come on your own or attend with someone you’d like to explore this work with.

Come with a relationship in mind. Come with a conversation you’ve been avoiding, a rupture you’re trying to understand, or a pattern you’re ready to explore differently.

Workshop Details

Sunday, December 13, 2026
11:00 AM–1:00 PM New York
Online via Zoom
Investment: $45
Maximum 12 participants

Because this is experiential work, we’re intentionally keeping the group small. You’ll have space to participate, practice, reflect, and experience the work rather than simply listening to a presentation.

Your Facilitators

Lara Lark

Lara is a certified Relationship and Intimacy Coach and ABS-certified Sexologist. Originally from South Africa and now based in the South of France, she holds a degree from La Sorbonne and offers sessions in French and English.

She is also a certified Embodiment Practitioner and has completed training in a range of therapeutic and relational modalities, including Somatic Experiencing, Polyvagal Theory, Nonverbal Communication, and the Gottman Method (Level 1).

Her work supports people in developing more embodied, authentic, and aligned relationships with themselves and others.

Odelia Shargian, SEP, RSMT/E

Odelia is a Somatica®-certified Somatic Sex and Relationship Coach, ABS-certified Somatic Sexologist, and Registered Somatic Movement Therapist and Educator.

With a BA in Psychology and extensive experience in counseling, she integrates body-based and relational approaches including Somatic Experiencing, Somatica®, and Inner Relationship Focusing.

Her work helps people deepen connection with themselves and others through greater embodiment, intimacy, and relational awareness.

Not ready to join the workshop yet?

Start with my free Finding Your Way Back: A Step-by-Step Guide to Relationship Repair.

Enter your first name and email below and I’ll send it straight to your inbox.

 Why this work matters so much to me.

I learned what happens when hurt goes unrepaired.

For a long time, when something happened in an important relationship that hurt me, I would shut down.

I didn’t feel safe enough to say what I was really thinking or feeling, so I went deep inside myself instead.

But the hurt didn’t disappear just because we weren’t talking about it.

Over time, resentment accumulated. I became more guarded. Desire faded. There were times when I didn’t want to be intimate, or even particularly close.

Eventually, I became stronger and more able to speak vulnerably about what was happening inside me. But I learned something else:

Being willing to talk about a rupture isn’t the same as knowing how to repair it.

I could find the courage to say, This hurt me. This is what happened inside me. This is what I need.

But sharing vulnerably didn’t automatically lead to feeling heard or understood.

When the same pattern happened again and again, the hurt accumulated. Eventually, there was simply too much of it between us.

That experience taught me something I wish I had understood much earlier:

Conflict itself isn’t necessarily what destroys connection. It’s what happens when hurt goes unrepaired, again and again.

I don’t teach repair because I’ve always been good at it. I teach it because I know what it can cost when we don’t know how, and what becomes possible when we do.

It’s also part of what drew Lara and me to create The Art of Fighting Well together.

You don’t have to wait until a relationship is deeply damaged to learn how to repair.

Learn not just how to move through conflict differently, but how to find your way back when connection has been broken.