Tips to more intimacy inside …

Are you a people pleaser? (I am!)

I want to embrace the parts that are natural and useful in that pattern and let go of the parts that are habitual.

If you are, you might just think that the best way to make someone else feel good is to focus only on what you think they might like.

But do you want to know a secret? That actually serves no one.

For all of us people pleasers, the best way to give somebody great touch, whether sexual or not, is to bring all your senses into the picture so it actually feels good to YOU.

Let’s break this down: the word sensual includes the word sense in it.

So what do we need to become sensual?

You were born fully sensual beings. Something must happen in order for you to forget your sensuality. And honestly, we’re all systematically taught to prioritize other capabilities.

Even worse: We’re also told that pleasure is bad.

So how can we reconnect with our natural-born sensuality?

Step one: embrace (and celebrate!) your sensual nature.

Step two: Connect to your own pleasure, even as you’re giving it to someone else.

You can test it on your own body first.

Just pick an innocent part of your body like your arm or your leg and start touching that part with your hand in different ways that feel good. Then notice what happens if you set an intention to feel pleasure in the part that is giving the touch (the hand).

Notice if it feels different when both sides are involved in the experience.

And next time you touch somebody you can also try it on them, too.

If you’re connected to your sensuality, this might be challenging, but try touching them in a way that you think they might want to be touched without taking your own pleasure into consideration.

Then pause and allow your touch to be guided by what generates the most pleasurable sensations in your own body.

You don’t need to tell them which one you’re doing. Just ask them which feels better. Then you can switch turns.

I’m curious to know what you find out.