What does “I’m too upset to talk about it right now” really mean?

A friend of mine was upset about something the other day (not me, thank god!). They said, “I’m too upset to talk about it right now”.

Whenever I hear that I'm curious about what it really means. I don’t usually use this phrase but I can’t tell you that I don’t act it out. ;)

I don’t always share my upset with people, especially when I can’t tell if it’s safe for me. 

But seriously, what does being “too upset” actually mean? Is there really such a thing as being too upset? How much is too much? Who decides?

What would the world be like if we were allowed to be upset around others? If we could just show how truly upset we are, without harming anyone or anything? Wouldn’t we be able to function better? Maybe even be nicer to each other because we could actually feel our feelings? 

What does it take for us to be able to feel our upset and not tuck it away?

I have a couple of friends that I can call and say, 

“Hey, I’m really upset right now. Can you just listen to me for a few minutes?” 

And I know they will because we have that kind of friendship. They won’t try to change my upset. 

They’ll just be with me, and love me, while I feel my upset in my body.

I strongly recommend having such an arrangement with at least one other person.

If that isn’t workable, well then, there’s always therapy. 

It’s important that you have at least one place where you don’t have to keep yourself hidden because of your upset.