You won’t believe this text exchange

Ever had a conversation with your partner that triggered a totally unexpected response?  

Our past wounds shape the lens we see the world through, causing us misinterpret intentions. It’s like we’re scanning for triggers to validate our old hurts.  

Here’s a real-life text exchange between two lovers:  

**Partner A:**  

“For tomorrow, please feel comfortable coming to see me or canceling. I know you have a lot going on.”  

**Partner B’s interpretation:**  

“He doesn’t really want to see me and is putting it on me to cancel.”  

**Partner B:**  

“I was looking forward to coming but only if you genuinely want that. I don’t want to feel like an obligation.”  

**Partner A’s interpretation:**  

“She’s criticizing me. I was being considerate by giving her space, and now it feels like I did something wrong.”  

This kind of misunderstanding can quietly build resentment—the #1 killer of relationships.  

In my practice I help people see that there might just be a completely different perspective they can’t see because of past trauma.

I do that by teaching them the process of Repair. 

People share how the other person’s behavior affected them without blaming or shaming and the other person’s listens with empathy.  

For this couple, Partner A shared how growing up in a strict, obligation-driven environment made him genuinely offer an “out” with no hidden meaning. He felt hurt by the assumption he didn’t care.  

Partner B realized her abandonment wounds made her overly sensitive to rejection and owned how her anxious response might feel like criticism to her partner.  

By understanding each other’s triggers and practicing Repair, they deepened their bond and created more sensitivity toward the other person’s triggers.