You're the one that you've been waiting for

When I first started working towards recovery from my eating disorder with a professional she offered that whenever I experience feelings of shame around my body I should check in with myself to see if there is anything deeper going on around feelings of self worth in my life.

It made a lot of sense when she first said that but you know how sometimes you know something is right in your mind but it doesn't really click in your body until much much later?

I was so impressed the other day because, just as I started getting dressed I was beginning to have feelings about my body and out of nowhere came a new and refreshing voice asking "hold on a second, is this really what it is going on now?" and the "of course not" came so quickly and so definitely that there was no room for doubt. It was so clear that it was about this interaction that happened with someone the day before that shook me up and made me doubt my reaction and triggered the questioning of my entire self worth, which often happens in situations like these.

I think that the reason this seed that was planted by my recovery practitioner many months before suddenly was able to take root was because of all the time and effort that I've been putting into taking care of myself using my big arsenal of embodied practices that I've collected through the years.

There's a notion in our society that self-care is a luxury and that it's totally self-indulgent to engage in it. My logic tells me that each one of us is precious and deserves all the care in the world.
Our sense of worth stems from being fully supported in childhood to be who we are and when that doesn't happen there's a way that we have to take initiative as adults and fight for the little child that never got what it needed.

It's easy to forget how important this fight is and sometimes we wait for someone else to fight for us but I think that there's no one that is equipped to do this job better than ourselves because no one really knows the little details of our own childhood, our specific history and our life circumstance as well as we do. In order to take this on however, we need to realize that we matter, at least as much as anyone else does, and that we're worth taking the time to heal.

I would love to hear how this resonates with you and I invite you to take good care of yourself as we go into the winter holidays.