How to resolve shame

For shame to work we have to believe that we are on our own.

Isolation is at the core of most of our traumatic experiences.

Trauma doesn’t take hold in the body in the same way when there is an aware and caring presence around the time the trauma sets in.

That presence can help mediate the occurrence, especially when we are young and we need someone with a wider perspective to explain things to us so we don’t take them personally.

This is particularly true for the trauma of shame.

I can’t imagine how my life would have been different if at the moment I was made to feel ashamed about my body for the first time by a family friend who pointed out that I gained weight, I had an aware and caring presence that I could talk to and process what I just heard with.

I can’t imagine what a difference it would have made for me to be able to grieve about having my feelings hurt and for that imagined caring presence to tell me that there’s nothing wrong with my body or with me, and that whatever that person told me was deeply and utterly confused and distorted by societal norms.

One of the major ways therapy can be helpful is with dissolving shame.

The therapist can model a similar attitude to that aware and caring presence necessary to break the isolation inherent in the experience of shame to a point where the client is eventually able to take on that attitude towards themselves.

In somatic therapy we not only talk about the shame, but we use the body and our felt-sense to move the emotions that are attached to the shame through the body and out of it.

If you’re curious how somatic therapy can help you work through your own shame feel free to respond back to this email or book a free consultation with me here: embodiedacceptancecheduling.as.me.