Not too late to give this holiday gift…

Ever noticed how your heart feels a little lighter when someone’s face lights up just because you walked into the room? 

That’s the magic of Expressed Delight.

Expressed Delight is the act of openly showing joy, excitement, and appreciation for your partner—not just for what they do, but for who they are. 

It’s that beaming smile, that "I’m so lucky to know you" look, or that spontaneous hug that says, "I’m genuinely happy you exist."

Diane Poole Heller, a pioneer in attachment theory, calls this the "Beam Gleam"—that unmistakable glow of love and pride in your eyes when you see someone you love. 

It’s what a baby looks for in a parent’s face and what we, as adults, still crave in our romantic partnerships. When your partner’s eyes "gleam" for you, it activates deep feelings of worthiness, love, and belonging.

This concept is deeply connected to attachment theory, which emphasizes the importance of feeling safe, seen, and valued in relationships. 

It tells your partner’s nervous system: "You matter. You’re loved. You’re cherished." Over time, this kind of connection strengthens the "secure attachment" bond that’s vital for long-term relationship health.

As relationships evolve, it’s easy for partners to shift from "lovers in awe of each other" to "co-managers of life’s logistics."

Expressed Delight keeps the spark alive. It says, "I still see you, and I’m still amazed by you."

Without it, a "business partnership" dynamic can happen, where appreciation is only expressed for task completion—like folding the laundry or taking out the trash—instead of for the unique essence of each partner.

It can be challenging to get back in the habit of beaming at your partner after the honeymoon phase is over.

Step into my relationship lab where you will definitely experience my Beam Gleam. You can play and practice conversations so you can bring more of this gooeyness into your love life.

Let me know if you’re interested in learning more about what we can accomplish together.