The Relationship Series: Lovability

Do you think you’re lovable?

I know that’s a loaded question.

And most people don’t think they are.

Because most people think there’s something wrong with them. And they don’t realize that underneath their mental list of imperfections is the question of lovability.

It’s really sad.

A lot of us never got the love we needed in the way we needed it.

Then we make that mean we’re not lovable.

That can make relationships a problem.

After all, how can someone else love you when you’re not sure you’re loveable?

Recently I was taking a class in one of the spiritual traditions. A student asked:

“If there’s a cosmic plan where specific people come into our lives in order to nudge our growth edges, how do we know when a relationship is actually not good for us and whether it’s time to leave?”

Such a great question, right? The answer was very powerful.

“Imagine you achieved the highest level of spiritual evolution. You have no issues and you completely love yourself inside and out and you know that you’re completely lovable.

No self-doubt, no self-judgment. Pure love and acceptance.

Would you still be with the person you’re involved with?”

Many would answer “no” because we know we deserve better.

A lot of us settle because we don’t know that we are lovable.

If you don’t know you’re lovable there’s work to do before you can expect to have good relationships.

If you’ve ever worried about how lovable you are, you’re not alone and it’s not your fault.

And if you want to explore this a little bit more, ask yourself these questions:

  • Do you know that even though you are not perfect you are lovable?

  • Do you feel you are lovable?

  • Are you able to give love?

  • Are you able to receive love?

If you struggle to answer any of these, that’s so normal! It’s so rare that we take the time to notice these things and really learn about ourselves.

Congrats for reading this far. Only about 5% of people who start this post will finish it - so you should celebrate yourself for getting this far. Really.

Save this information for the next time you need to remember you’re lovable.

Odelia Shargian