You don't always need to "pull it together”

We’ve all been there. Something (or many things) happen to and you’re flooded with anxiety, panic, or paralysis. We usually have a thought that we should “calm down” or “pull it together” or “get going.”

Can you feel how dismissive (and mean) those statements are? They’re completely lacking empathy. Empathy for ourselves.

It’s like jumping on a trampoline. 

If I were to decide, with my mind rather than my body, that I wanted bounce back up before allowing the trampoline to spring back, the natural flow would be totally interrupted and I’d never get back into the air. 

Only by allowing the trampoline to fully find its bottom can I expect the resilience to get back up again.

When you feel overwhelmed by emotion, sometimes we need to allow them to hit bottom before we try to “force” them away.

Find a safe way to allow your sympathetic nervous system to come to life so that the arousal can resolve itself and the body/mind will eventually re-organize.

This could mean letting yourself scream into a pillow, yell, shake, or sit very still. It could mean allowing yourself to wring your hands, pace your bedroom, or talk to yourself emphatically. 

Whatever your body needs to do to get to the bottom of your adrenal explosion is fine (as long as it’s safe for you and others).

Stay with it. See what happens after you surrender to the feelings. See what kind of spring might appear and surprise you…

Trying to stop yourself from feeling never works. Allow your feelings the respect of experiencing them and allow them to find a way to redirect themselves towards peace, calm, and contentment when they have been witnessed.