How to deal with fight or flight

You’ve probably heard it all when it comes to “handling” fight or flight:

Breathing techniques, monitoring devices, and apps, all marketed to get us “out of fight or flight.”

But what does that even mean? How do you know when YOU are in fight or flight?

Fight, flight, freeze or fawn are a series of responses we may go through physically and emotionally when facing a perceived threat.

It’s an ancient internal system, designed for survival and protection from perceived danger.

And it’s a good thing. It’s the reason we’ve survived as a species.

Here’s what it feels like:

Fight: the immediate instinct to swat, slap or punch

Flight: ducking or running when you see a threat you can outrun

Freeze: stopping suddenly when you see a dangerous animal

Fawn: going along with something we don’t want, to stay safe in the bigger picture, like laughing at a bad joke in a job interview

The issue is, in order to trigger this response, something doesn’t need to actually be dangerous; it simply needs to feel dangerous.

This is where trauma comes in. Past trauma can make a safe situation feel dangerous, triggering the FFFF response.

Your heart might race, your skin might feel hot or cold, you might feel foggy. It could feel like paralysis, physically or emotionally, or like your brain stopped working.

What you need during a moment like this is time. Time to figure out what’s triggering you, and time to process the threatening feeling.

Obviously, if there’s a true physical threat in front of you, getting out of FFFF isn’t your goal. The goal, of course, is to survive. So do what you need to do.

But if you’re *perceiving* a threat based on a past experience, rather than a bear in your path, time can help you find your breath and analyze whether the threat is current or past.

“I need a moment” can be a great thing to say to create a little time for you to think before throwing out a knee-jerk trauma reaction.