A new word to your vocabulary

If you’re having a hard time feeling turned on when sexy time comes, I feel you!

I used to feel the same. It’s not fun.

It’s not the worst problem to have compared to oppression, world hunger and war but my quest to have a more embodied life has taught me that feeling fully alive means connecting to my eroticism, and I can’t leave it out.

There were different reasons I felt disconnected from sex, but there’s one thing I learned while becoming a somatic sex expert.

It’s made a world of difference: decompartmentalizing sex.

I know, it feels like a made up word, right? That’s because it is. But it’s important.

For most of us, shame driven training told us to put sex in a box, to compartmentalize it.

We’re only allowed to feel sexual when we’re officially engaged in sexual activity.

Feeling sexual is supposed to be turned on or off, on demand, through the flip of an imaginary switch.

This can happen easily when you are engaged in a new relationship and the hormones are there to do the trick. But what happens when the hormones are gone?

We deserve to keep the pilot light burning so the jump between the “on” and “off’ setting is smaller.

So how do we keep that pilot light on? We make it an internal feeling that’s not dependent on surroundings or people.

We cultivate that feeling by engaging our senses and allowing any sensual experience to literally be brought down to our genitals.

We couple the sensual with the sexual.

So if you’re eating a fresh baked bread for example, you see, you taste, you smell, you hear, you feel the pleasure in the swallowing of the warm, chewy, crunchy, sweet, salty texture all at once.

Then you connect that with your erotic energy deep down in your pelvis.

Beware, if you really take it seriously you might have a foodgasm ;)

Try doing this with anything you experience that has the potential for pleasure and involves sensing and feeling.

It takes practice. This is what I can help you learn.

First I might help you find safety in the body so you can allow yourself to receive sensation, then I lead you through a journey of decompartamentalization which can help you feel sexual all day long.

This is not just about sex. Wouldn’t you want to feel motivated, purposeful, excited and generally turned on about life?