This is why you don’t get the intimacy you crave.

One of the least spoken about reasons for women’s low desire is that, more often than not, they don’t get to experience the kind of sex they actually want or need.

They need to understand what turns them on and it is usually specific. More specific than anyone is ready to acknowledge because we live in a shame-filled culture.

So many women lose interest in sex because they miss the seduction necessary  to feel aroused.

Women need foreplay.

For most women it doesn’t start with genital stimulation. We need more intricate sexual and psychological stimulation.

For many, foreplay  isn’t considered “real sex”. The only “real sex” is intercourse. This is absolutely not true.

Foreplay includes the necessary psychological element of anticipation. It’s the exciting buildup of pleasurable tension that can result in a blissful sexual experience.

I don’t know about you, but for me this is the best part about sex. Most times it even tops orgasming.

What does foreplay include?

Any activity that brings you closer to arousal.

When most people think about foreplay they think about physical foreplay: kissing, caressing and touching various erogenous areas that don’t include the genitals like neck, arms, the inside part of the thighs, the belly, etcetera.

Another kind of foreplay that people enjoy is verbal foreplay.

This is one of those things that can start as soon as you end the last sexual interaction.

You can say something enticing to your partner before you leave the house in the morning, you can send them a seductive text, you can let them know how you feel about them, how gorgeous they are or what you fantasize about doing with them.

Mood setting foreplay is about all the romantic things you can do to set the stage for sex: candles, music, sexy clothes, intimate dinner etc.

Some people like to engage in foreplay through role play, adopting different characters and pretending to be somebody other than themselves. This might allow them to explore fantasies and kinks that can set the stage for their unique arousal.

If you’re a male in partnership with a female,  this is your sign to understand the importance of foreplay and participate in ensuring that it’s part of your sexual interaction.

If you’re a woman and you feel that you do need foreplay to enjoy sex, don’t give up on foreplay and force yourself to have sex you don’t like or want.

You can communicate to your partner what you need and ensure they are being considered.