Fantasies can be the perfect sign post to your early unmet needs

Fantasies aren’t something that you’re “supposed” to be proud of, right?

It can be embarrassing to admit that we have them, especially those who involve attraction to another person.

In spite of that, there’s something about fantasizing that can be quite appealing and even irresistible.

The reason being: they feel so good! And who doesn’t want to feel good?

As much as we don’t like admitting to having them, fantasies are a direct pathway to our deepest desires, and early unmet needs.

When a fantasy arises it often appears to be about someone we know in the present but it’s really not.

If you have a fantasy, or the next time you have one, instead of shooing it away you can embrace it as a great resource and seize this amazing opportunity to do some deep healing work.

Working with fantasies in Somatic Therapy is one of the tools we can use to work towards wholeness.

You get to tell the story of the fantasy and notice what happens in the body when you tell it.

You identify the felt sense that is connected to the fantasy, you find its location in the body and describe it.

Once there’s a felt sense connected to the story we can identify it as a “part” with its own identity, wishes and desires and spend some time meeting it with interested curiosity.

When we do that it might start revealing what is the part that is most appealing to it.

You might even ask it, “What is it that feels so good when you think about X doing Y”

It might say thing like:

“It feels really nice to feel seen and acknowledged.”

“It’s so good to feel so desired”

“It’s so great to feel so deeply connected to another human being.”

“It feels like I belong”

These are all clues.

When you slow things down so you can notice what feels so good about the fantasy you can get to the root of what created it in the first place …

Which is usually about some deep human need that wasn’t met..

You can give yourself some great medicine for that wound by allowing yourself to sit with the basic ingredient in the fantasy.

Understand more about what makes it feel so good.

Then, intentionally grow that feeling in your body so you can enjoy the energy and experience it as well-being.