Finally made that tough decision?

Did you know that not making a decision is actually a Freeze defense response?

When you’re not able to make a decision (and sometimes it can feel like forever!), it’s because making the decision feels so scary that you simply freeze instead.

Sometimes we’re stuck in a state of ambivalence for so long, that we begin to doubt our ability to even make a decision. And that feeds the ambivalence and so on.

You know that not deciding isn’t good for you, but you can’t seem to do anything about it.

It can actually make you think you’re not capable of deciding anything, or even taking care of yourself.

It might take a while before you can do enough work to move out of the stuckness.

Once you do though, all the fears you had about deciding get kicked up again.

And that can obscure the fact that you actually made the decision.

It’s important to take time to notice. Because finally deciding means your coming out of the freeze.

Finally making that decision is you stepping into your power.

And that’s the opposite of the powerlessness that comes with not being able to act on your own behalf, one way or another.

So take a moment to notice the shift. Notice the power you just took back. It’s extraordinary. YOU did that.

Noticing that you made a decision has a regulating effect.

There will be time to address all the fears. And you’ll actually be more equipped to address them now that you’re regulated.

In my practice, I invite my clients to notice the decision was made, and then to notice how it feels in their body.

We might spend a whole session doing that.

They might feel some sensations which translate into a sense of relief.

They might also notice some tension related to some less pleasant emotions such as fear and grief.

That’s all normal.

We check to see if they can refocus their attention on the sense of relief and expand it.

To the extent they can, it makes it easier to work with the other stuff.

If you’ve been feeling paralyzed about a decision you know you need to make, send me a note and we’ll schedule a session.