My Covid chicken noodle soup story…

I’ve been sick with Covid and isolated from my family. I asked my husband, who has been tending to me in the last couple of days, to bring me some chicken noodle soup with some salt and pickles on the side. 

Sounds quite specific right? Wait for it … 

When the soup arrived I was a bit disappointed. 

Big picture, there’s nothing to feel disappointed about. After all, not everyone has a special someone to take care of them when they’re sick. 

However, this disappointment sparked a relationship aha moment. 

He got most of what I asked for right. The only thing was that the bowl was a small cereal bowl. I was imagining a big ramen bowl. 

Then it hit me. 

Why would he know that you want the big ramen bowl? If you wanted the big bowl you should have said that very specifically.

Why was I so disappointed?

Because I expected him to know what I was thinking.

Isn’t that how you feel sometimes? 

At first I thought, “Why would anyone use a small bowl?”

But then I realized that my assumption might be the one that’s skewed. 

Sometimes when I’m in the right frame of mind I can see that different people do things differently and honestly. And that’s a relief because otherwise the world would be a boring place. 

When I talk to my clients about asking for EXACTLY what they want when it comes to s-x, I’m talking about going into the granular details, like asking for a big bowl instead of a small bowl, and not dismissing anything as unimportant because this is exactly the key to satisfaction in the bedroom. 

When we don’t do that we may experience our s-x as boring and we may even suffer from low desire because we think there’s something wrong with us, or with our partner, when in fact, there isn’t.

Learning how to ask for the big bowl isn’t easy. Knowing that you want the big bowl and not the small one, is the first step.  

Several things can get in your way and I’m here to help you uncover those and actually practice asking.