Sexless Marriage Isn’t What You Think

Did you know that up to 15–20% of marriages are considered s*xless? That means they have s*x 10 times or less per year.

And even in relationships that don’t fit the technical definition, many couples report feeling disconnected or unfulfilled s*xually over time.

So what makes the difference between couples who stay s*xually active and fulfilled well into their marriages and those who drift apart in this area?

Often, it’s not just about desire, it's about intention.

Couples who prioritize s*x as a shared value, who talk about it, make time for it, and treat it as something precious to their relationship tend to stay more connected, both physically and emotionally.

On the other hand, couples who take a let’s see if it happens approach often find that it… doesn’t.

And over time, the absence of s*x can lead to more than just physical disconnection.

It can impact:

  • Emotional intimacy

  • Self-esteem and desirability

  • Resentments and misunderstandings

  • Relationship satisfaction

One practice that helps? Scheduling s*x.

It might not sound s*xy at first, but in real life full of work, kids, stress, and Netflix, putting it on the calendar can actually protect your connection.

It creates a shared container for anticipation, play, and intimacy, rather than relying on the rare moment when you’re both magically in the mood and not exhausted.

When done with care and curiosity, scheduling s*x isn’t about obligation, it's about intention. It says: “This matters to us.”

And by the way, we “schedule” s*x when we’re dating - not just when our marriage is feeling “s*xless”.

When you invite someone to dinner and a movie on Friday night, you’re scheduling s*x.

This concept of scheduling s*x isn’t as “uns*xy” as it might sound.

As a S*x and Relationship Coach, I help individuals and couples reconnect with their desires, both within themselves and with each other.

We explore the emotional, psychological, and relational blocks that might be standing in the way of intimacy, and we work somatically, through the body to reawaken sensation, vulnerability, and connection.

If your relationship has gone s*xually quiet and you're not sure how to find your way back, it’s not too late.

You don’t have to settle for a s*xless marriage. There’s a path to healing, aliveness, and turn-on and I’d love to walk it with you.

Odelia Shargian