This might be uncomfortable but important…

Sick of “not feeling like it?” Fantasy can be your best friend when it comes to enhancing your erotic life.

I’m noticing my own discomfort as I’m sharing this controversial perspective. There’s a big cultural “no no” around sexual fantasies.

You’re not supposed to think about anything or anyone else if you’re in a committed relationship, let alone while you’re having an intimate experience with them.

Many religious traditions call it a sin, which is damaging and shame inducing.

When the human mind is told to not think about a red elephant, it will most definitely think about a red elephant.

In a repressive, sex negative culture, escaping into our imagination feels like the only option.

And thank god we have one!

I wouldn’t want to take that away from anyone.

It’s your wholesome, beautiful erotic energy, trying to find a path to express itself.

Acting on our fantasies can be a different story, although there are plenty of ways to do so consensually and even include a partner in playing them out which can be deeply healing btw (that’s for a different post).

When it comes to letting your mind run away into an imaginary world that happens to turn you on, there’s no harm in that.

On the contrary, you can harness that beautiful, creative, imagination of yours to power up your level of desire.

When it comes to keeping your head in the game it’s important to use all the available pathways to desire. That includes sensation, connection with your partner and your imagination.

Fantasies increase the volume of your desire when you’re inside a sexual experience. And they can provide invaluable information about your core desires, which can enhance your sexual compatibility with your partner.

You might not think you have any sexual desires (thanks to our society), but everyone has them. Sometimes they just might not be recognizable as such.

You want to explore your fantasies for your own sexual health.

I can help you with that.