When sex isn’t fulfilling, there’s little motivation to pursue it

Many women experience low desire and often believe something is fundamentally wrong with them. 

While low desire can sometimes have an organic cause, in most cases, it's more about not having a compelling reason to engage in sex.

Let’s be honest—when sex isn’t fulfilling, there’s little motivation to pursue it. 

The good news? There’s plenty you can do once you’ve ruled out any physical causes. But it does require some effort.

First, you need to play detective and figure out what turns you on. Contrary to what pop culture or conventional advice may suggest, there’s no one-size-fits-all solution. You’re unique, and so are your core desires.

Often, these desires are connected to deeper emotional wounds—like wanting to feel seen and adored, or empowered and competent. Once you've identified your turn-ons, the next step is learning how to communicate them.

This sounds simple, but it’s not. If it were, fewer people would struggle in this area.

One reason it’s tough? The myth that sex is supposed to be spontaneous, and if it takes work, something’s wrong. But this belief is far from the truth. To have fulfilling sex, some level of self-exploration is necessary, and conversations both in and out of the bedroom—are key.

Email me at odelia@embodiedacceptance.com if you’re ready to dive deeper into understanding your core desires and learning how to communicate them.

Odelia Shargian